Roadrunner and Speedy Gonzalez 100m Sprint, and Other Classic Character Battles
Participants: Ronald Mc Donald and Colonel Sanders Event: Fight to the death Colonel Sanders is a hard looking take-no-shit Southern man sonofabitch who probably has several high calibre firearms sitting in his pickup truck. He drinks his whiskey straight, he chews tobacco, and his outfit suggests that he’s also a pimp and/or involved in dealing something more than secret herbs and spices. His opponent, Ronald McDonald, is a magical clown who has a posse; Birdie, Grimace (I have no idea what Grimace is but I...
Five Things You Do at the Office That Make Me Secretly Want to Kill You
1. You sneen on casual Friday. Sneening = sneakers and jeans. Sneening is an unnecessary evil visited on my workplace/our society that is cruel and unnecessary. What are you thinking? Clearly you aren’t thinking. I am no fashionista—in fact, I’m not even remotely fashionable—but I’m not retarded enough to wear a t-shirt, a pair of ill-fitting jeans, and a pair of shitty old sneakers. You clearly don’t use your sneakers to work out, so that’s no excuse. 2. You get paid more than I do....
