Yay! Apparently, they are going to put a woman on the $20 bill sometime in the next 15 years. Girl. Power. Just kidding. By then almost no one will actually use cash anymore. We women know when we’re getting played. Thus, I, a woman, have come up with some demands for celebrating ladykind every time you spend some dough.
- When you use Apple Pay, confirming your thumbprint will automatically cause you to tweet, “You Go Girl!” at Beyoncé.
- When you opt to use PayPal for a transaction, the “submit” button will feature a picture of Malala Yousafzai.
- Completing an Uber cab ride will give you not just the chance to rate your driver, but also the legacy of Harriet Tubman.
- “Buy Now with 1-Click” on Amazon will be rebranded as “Murphy Brown, TV’s first woman to have a child outside of wedlock, presents Buy Now with 1-Click.”
- Skymiles rewards points will now be called Hillary Texting on Airplane points.
- Square Cash will be rebranded as Mother Theresa Cash.
- Trading actual cash will be accompanied by trading Meryl Bucks, which feature an image of Meryl Streep and can be redeemed for a free IUD insertion.