(Intro music)

(Derulo…)

It’s so hard to sleep
I, Jason Derulo, got the sheets on the floor
Listen to me, I’m Jason Derulo,
And I, meaning me, Jason Derulo, can’t take it no more
It’s a hundred degrees
I, Jason Derulo, got one foot out the door
Where are the keys that belong to Jason Derulo?
‘Cause Jason Derulo gotta leave, yeah

In the back of the cab
I, the kindly Jason Derulo, tip the driver, head to town
Give Jason “The Jas” Derulo the best
Jase-Face Derulo got your body on my mind
I, Jason Derulo, want it back
Ooh, just the thought of you gets me, me being Jason Derulo, so high, so high

Girl, you’re the one
I, Jason Derulo, want to want me (the aforementioned Jason Derulo)
And if you want Derulo, girl, you got Derulo
There’s nothin’ I, Jason, no, I, Jason, wouldn’t do, I, Derulo wouldn’t do
Just to get up next to you

Girl, you’re the one I, legally monikered Jason Joel Desrouleaux, want to want me, whose nom de plume is Jason Derulo,
And if you want me, did I mention my name is Jason Derulo, girl, you got me, yep still me, Jason Derulo
There’s nothin’ I, Derulo, no, I Derulo, wouldn’t do, I Jason wouldn’t do
Just to get up next to you
Just to get up next to you

You open the door
Wearing nothing but a smile, fell to the floor
And you whisper in my, Jason Derulo’s, ear, “Baby, I’m yours.”
Ooh, just the thought of you gets Jas-Jas Derulo so high, so high

Girl, you’re the one
I, the narrator of this timeless love ballad Jason Derulo, want to want me
And if you want me, me being Jason Derulo, girl, you got me cuz my name is Jason Derulo
There’s nothin’ I, Jason, no, I, Jason, wouldn’t do, I, Derulo, wouldn’t do
Just to get up next to you

Girl, you’re the one I, famous American pop artist Jason Derulo, want to want me
And if you want me, yes me, over here, hi my name is Jason Derulo, girl, you got me
There’s nothin’ I, Derulo, no, I, Derulo, wouldn’t do, I, Jason, wouldn’t do
Just to get up next to you
Just to get up next to you

Just the thought of you gets me, Tom Hiddleston (haha just kidding it’s still me, Jason Derulo) so high, so high
Ooh, just the thought of you gets me Aubrey Drake Graham (lol got you the second time it’s still Jason Derulo, as it has been for the duration of this song) so high, so high

Girl, you’re the one I, Jason Derulo, want to want me
And if you want me, Jason Derulo, girl, you got me
There’s nothin’ I, Derulo, no, I, Derulo, wouldn’t do, I, Jason wouldn’t do
Just to get up next to you

Girl, you’re the one I, Jason Deruloson, son of Sir Jason of Derulo the 1st, want to want me
And if you want me, Janice Derulo as my friends call me when I get drunk and dress up in drag, girl, you got me
There’s nothin’ I, Jason, no, I, Jason, wouldn’t do, I, Derulo, wouldn’t do
Just to get up next you (I would do anything, or my name isn’t Jason Derulo, which it definitely is)
Just to get up next you (anything and everything)
Just to get up next to you (baby)
Just to get up next to you
Get up, get up!

(outro music, Jason Derulo repeated 100 times while fading out).

–Katie Sisneros