You may or may not know that I am an identical twin. My sister’s name is Lauren. I get an incredible amount of questions about being a twin, which is great! I’m glad people are so interested. However, there are some things I personally think people should know when speaking to multiples (twins, triplets, quadruplets, etc.). Use this as your guide:

1. “I SAW THESE TWO TWINS.”

This makes me shake my head every time. Saying you saw two twins is like saying you need to fix your rear taillight. It’s redundant. Twins means two. So there are always two. If ever there are three, they are considered triplets. The names of multiples are already indicative of how many people there are. So unless you want to see some hardcore eye-rolling, don’t say you saw “two twins,” or “three triplets” or “four quadruplets.”

2. “WHAT’S IT LIKE BEING A TWIN?”

This is an impossible question to answer. First of all, I don’t speak for all twins. I can only speak to my experience. Asking me what it’s like is only getting my take on what being a twin is like. Twins have all kinds of different relationships with each other, so I can’t really answer that question very accurately.

What’s it like not being a twin? You could probably give me some outlines, but you’ll never be able to truly let me know what it’s like. I’m sure only children get the same kind of question. They probably feel me on this one.

Even if I wanted to tell you what it was like, I don’t think I could. For me, it’s an unexplainable relationship and bond. It’s unlike anything else. I have no comparisons for you. I’m sorry.

3. “BUT YOU GUYS AREN’T LIKE IDENTICAL-IDENTICAL.”

There is no such kind of twin as an identical-identical twin. If twins are identical they are identical. There are not varying degrees or levels. Identical twins share the exact same DNA. Much like the double-yolked egg my mom made on mother’s day, Identical twins were once one being, and then split into two separate beings.

My sister and I are long-time participants of the University of Minnesota Twin Study. Our DNA is the exact same to every single researchable decimal point. A lot of people say that my sister and I “used to look alike when I first met you, but now you don’t look anything alike!” Well, that just isn’t true. What you’re experiencing is being able to tell twins apart! Getting to know a set of twins can help you identify features that are different. What was once minor now seems drastic.

Identical twins are not clones. Nor are they perfect copies. Some things are just different: freckles, markings, etc. No two people have the same fingerprints + that includes identical twins!

So PLEASE keep in mind–identical is identical and fraternal is fraternal. These are the only two categories of twins.

4. NEVER ASK A *PAIR OF BOY-GIRL TWINS IF THEY ARE IDENTICAL.

Just… think about it.

5. IF IT SOUNDS RIDICULOUS, IT PROBABLY IS.

We’re not supernatural. It’s nothing like voodoo. We are two separate people with two separate minds. We can’t hold conversations in our heads together. That’d be awesome! and convenient! But it’s not a legitimate trait of being a twin. Don’t ask about anything that sounds like the plot of a soap opera.

And now, for your viewing pleasure, a list of the stupidest questions I’ve ever been asked about being a twin:

• “Have you ever woken up and thought you were your sister?”
• “If I hit you will she feel it?”
• “If I shoot you will she die?”
• “Do you know what your twin is doing right now?”
• “Since you were born 2 minutes apart will you die 2 minutes apart?”

You’ll have to trust me when I say there’s more..

Again, I’d like to reiterate that I don’t get annoyed by questions about being a twin. I really enjoy talking about being a twin + answering questions! I just thought i’d give some guidance to question askers everywhere.

If you have any thoughts or questions about being a twin, comment below! Let’s talk!

–Meg Beerling

Originally published on megbeerling.com