Ten Awkward Things You’re Hopefully Not Doing In Your Twitter Bio

Ten Awkward Things You’re Hopefully Not Doing In Your Twitter Bio

Declaring that retweets are not endorsements. Maybe just don’t retweet neo-Nazis, and this won’t be an issue.

Declaring that your opinions are your ownAre they, though?

Promoting outdated projects. It’s great that you wrote a novel in 2009, but it’s not really a “new book out now” any more.

Being pretentious. If you’re really “transforming the digital publishing industry,” maybe start by transforming your Twitter bio into something that doesn’t make you sound like a complete tool.

Saying how bad you are at Twitter. We can tell by your recent tweets whether or not you’re boring. What we really want to know is how likely you are to click on a phishing link and spam us all with DMs.

ALL CAPS. I wasn’t sure whether you were really an important person or not but obviously you are since you’re DROPPING BEATS LIKE WHAT. NEW MIXTAPE OUT NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Making. Every. Word. Its. Own. Sentence. We all just read this as “Eat. Pray. Love.”

Making your occupation a hashtag. It just makes you look desperate.

Making your bio an inspirational quote. It’s funny how many people quote Gandhi in their bio and then just use Twitter to complain about traffic.

Unironically declaring that this is your official account. Verified! By you!

Jay Gabler