is it possible that i have PTSD from being birthed
— Mira Gonzalez (@miragonz) November 28, 2013
long weekend! time to relax! but not really because anxiety is 24/7.
— Leah Garås (@leahgaraas) November 28, 2013
drive like a 75-year-old, dream like a 12-year-old, fuck like a 20-year-old
— Mary Charlene (@IamEnidColeslaw) November 27, 2013
Favoriting a tweet is like saying i fucks with you….but on the low though.
— WayneWonder (@VinnyTheHero) November 21, 2013
sex is like a fart in the sense that it’s repulsive unless it’s your own
— annabelle (@annabelle_nyst) November 20, 2013
I’m smoking while eating a cronut am I going to oh god my heart jesus take the wheel
— Choire (@Choire) November 20, 2013
Jealous of the innocents who I guess have not heard of publicists and think People’s Sexiest are chosen in some general election they forgot
— Emily Gould (@EmilyGould) November 20, 2013
Left a couple butthole bleaching pamphlets around the house, hoping my cat will take the hint.
— Amber (@Amburglar_) November 18, 2013
whenever i get a bunch of favs but no RTs it feels like the scene where big wouldn’t introduce carrie to his mother at church
— Chelsea Fagan (@Chelsea_Fagan) November 18, 2013
fridge has a light in it freezer doesnt make u think
— richard h dawkins (@RlCHARDDAWKlNS) November 3, 2013
Sucks there’s no Shazam for people.
— Bridey Elliott (@brideylee) November 3, 2013
– Compiled by @JayGabler