George Costanza. The inventor of Festivus, the beleaguered everyman, the philosopher. George Costanza proved to the world that you can be lovable even if you’re annoying—a dangerous, but important, truth.

Curious George. Another antihero among Georges, this mischievous monkey wreaks havoc with bananas, power lines, and everything else he can lay his grubby little hands on. We cheer for him, though, because as street dance crews everywhere know, there’s nothing cooler than a smooth hat theft.

Kat George. Writer, editor, and now actress, she’s a rare female George, and the only one to feature her crotch—obscured by pink flowers—as her Facebook cover photo.

George the Hippo. Though he’s one of the perviest characters ever to appear in a beloved children’s book (he peeped through the bathroom window of his hippo friend Martha, who responded by dropping the tub on him), ultimately this is a George with a heart—and tooth—of gold.

George Michael. Any man who can range from “Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go” to “Careless Whisper” in a single year is a pop artist of the highest order.

George Michael Bluth. A hero to everyone who’s ever been a cousin-lover…and really, who hasn’t?

Gorgeous George. Known as “the human orchid,” this flamboyant wrestler was an inspiration to greats ranging from Muhammad Ali to Bob Dylan. He was so cool that for the 1978 TV biopic about him, they had to get Henry Winkler to star.

Geordi La Forge. He’s not a George in the most technical sense of the word, but is anyone really going to argue that he doesn’t belong on this list?

King George of Bohemia. Kicked ass in battle at age 14. Fought the Bohemian Wars. Tried to negotiate peace. Excommunicated. Had ten kids, and then they chose someone else’s son to be the next king. Didn’t care.

George Alexander Louis. From greatness (and baldness) he came, and with greatness (and baldness) he shall reign.

– Jay Gabler