“You can’t make an omelet without breaking eggs. Every cook will tell you that.“ As spoken by Colonel Mustard in the immortal comedy Clue. If you’re hanging out with the right people, someone will reply in a Mrs. Peacock scream, “But look what happened to the cook!”

“You can visit Pity City, but you can’t live there.” Used by my aunt when employees at her bank get whiney.

“Just ’cause it’s on the tubes, people think it’s free!” Minneapolis photographer Stacy Schwartz on the frustrations of having online content thieved.

“Everybody needs money. That’s why they call it money.” Spoken by Danny DeVito in the movie Heist, this is my favorite David Mamet line—right up there with “Put that coffee down! Coffee is for closers only.”

“No conflict, no interest!” This expression used by my dad to describe the sometimes-incestuous business relationships in Twin Cities housing finance also applies to basically every industry everywhere.

“The people have spoken…the bastards.” First uttered by Dick Tuck after losing a California state senate race in 1966, this is a great one to pull out after any election where the wrong side won.

“Put on your own oxygen mask before assisting others.” My girlfriend reminds me that I’m fond of using this instruction as a metaphor for emotional health. Cheesy, but #truth.

“Old people didn’t choose to be old. Be nice!” From a Tumblr post by Nicole James, the most underrated font of wisdom on the Internet.

“Get me outta this stinkin’ fresh air!” Like Vicki from the original Parent Trap, I’m not the best camper.

“I sure hope the old man got that tractor beam out of commission, or this is gonna be a real short trip.” Prelude to all road trips.

– Jay Gabler