A co-worker who is 22 recently told me she’s never been drunk, and asked for tips on drinking in a smart way. I figure I will share all of those tips on this blog, since lots of our readers are probably younger than me and no one really gives you practical advice on how to drink. I certainly did not have it during my formative years.
The first time I ever got drunk I was 17, at a sleepover with 2 friends, and just straight up drank a glass of vodka. That’s really all there was to the night, because I blacked out almost immediately (although I heard there was vomiting on my part). I wish that someone had told me, “Hey Becky. I know you want to try drinking but here is a tip. Don’t drink a whole glass of vodka, ever.” How hard would it have been for someone to tell me that?
I am here to tell the world that.
While I’m at it, here are some other tips that I think will help you have a fun time without becoming a pain in the ass who feels like ass the next day. Being wasted is not a pretty look on anyone.
1) Measure your drinks. Use a shot glass and recognize most American shot glasses are 1.5 shots, not just one. This will help you learn your limits, and keep track of your drinks. If you’re at a bar, assume most drinks have 2 shots. If you’re a girl, you probably can’t handle more than 6 shots unless you have cultivated an iron liver. In that case, you don’t need to be reading this.
2) Have a glass of water for every shot. This is science, I think. It will severely reduce your hangover.
3) Always eat a meal before you drink. People who drink on empty stomachs tend to turn the night into a classy combination of emotional crying/ whining about being hungry/ vomiting. Don’t be that person. In college I called certain people “drunkulimics” because they stayed thin by drinking on an empty stomach and then vomiting all night. No one wants to party with drunkulimics.
4) Boys will try to give you flavored vodka. It’s something embedded in the Y chromosome or something. Find something else to drink so you do not become “that girl.” Whisky is a good choice. Beer is even better when it comes to slowing yourself down.
5) Eat at the end of the night. Pizza is a great option.
6) Do NOT smoke pot when you are drunk. I once lived with a dude who was a huge stoner and even he knew this trick, because he wrote it on his own hand on his birthday.
My co-worker asked what type of alcohol is smart to drink when trying to drink responsibly, and I really don’t think there’s much of a difference. Some people swear that gin makes them mean or whisky makes them fight, or that mixing different boozes makes them sick. I’ve found that you can drink whatever combination of whatever, as long as you don’t drink too much of it. And if you’re prone to headaches, avoid wine. What really matters is that you don’t drink too much. Do however, avoid a long island iced tea, unless that will be your only drink of the night.
I hope this helps someone out there avoid a few nights of hugging the porcelain throne.