-Any time Justin Bieber says – or sings –  the word “girl” you have to drink

-Any time anyone references his hair, drink, duh

-Selena Gomez guest cameo, finish that bottle

-If he plays a member of One Direction, drunk dial your little brother

-If you spot one chest hair on his chest, consume a tequila shot spiked with Cholula

-If someone calls him Biebs, take one modest sip, cuz that will happen many times

-DRINK WHEN THE JUSTIN BIEBER DANCES

-If SNL makes fun of Canada, toast to the power of Amurica and drink (preferably Budweiser)

-If J.B. plays a girl, drink one Skinny Girl martini

-If Seth Meyers DARES to play Justin Bieber in a skit tonight, throw your drink at the T.V.

-If you catch yourself feeling creepy, look to the left and right quickly and take a discreet sip

-If J.B. pulls any type of foreign accent, gargle your drink and shout “oy govena!” Not at the same time.

-If you catch yourself singing, you’re doing a good job, keep drinking, you!

-If he’s in a Lonely Island skit, procreate drunkenly immediately

Happy drinkin!

–Becky Lang and Neil Olstad