5 Reasons Why Ellie Goulding is an Alien

5 Reasons Why Ellie Goulding is an Alien


1. Her music clearly benefits from her native planet’s advanced technology in the realm of human hormone-inducing dance club hits with a specially-engineered ability to get stuck in the heads of women.

2. She could fit in really well with the cast of Roswell.

3. This lyric:

After the war we said we’d fight together

I guess we thought that’s just what humans do

(She’s studying us. And also part of some intergalactic war.)

4. This lyric:

Cover your eyes

So you don’t know the secret

I’ve been trying to hide

(That she’s an alien)

5. This lyric:

You show the lights that stop me turn to stone

‘Cause they’re calling, calling, calling me home

(A la E.T.)

What will her next song be about? Lasering White Castle into her spaceship cuz that’s what humans do after a long night of tripping at raves? Probably.

Becky Lang