“Never, ever say you’re not thin enough to be an E! News anchor.”
“How many notches do you have now … ? You should only have one notch on your belt, you know.”
When I opened my 1st bank account: “You’re only going to be young with disposable income for a tiny portion of your life. Spend what you make on fun stuff and worry about saving later.”
“It’s easy to come off arrogant on a blog like yours. Young people think they know everything.”
“It’s good to have a scale around so you can be in touch with your weight.”
On fate: “No, I can’t really believe in that kind of stuff. But even if you know something’s not true and it gives you hope, that’s ok.”
“If Disney is going to finally make a black princess, they need to give her more beautiful hair. What’s this ponytail?”
“Why listen to Bob Dylan? He’s a crooner. I hate crooners.”
“Don’t wear black eyeshadow. It gives guys the wrong idea.”
“If you have insomnia, drink warm milk with butter stirred in.” (This kinda works.)
“It’s important to connect with each of your children, individually, by taking them shopping.”
“I hope you know don’t need to actually be like Chelsea Handler, just because we love her show. People don’t really drink and sleep around like she does.”
“It’s ok to have girl crushes. I have one on the girl in the Aldi ad.”
“Hey, what happens on Judge Judy happens to lots of young girls. Be careful.”
“Never wear open-toed shoes to an interview.”
“Pull your shirt up.”
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