A Guide to Throwing the Most Heretical Good Friday Party on Your Block

A Guide to Throwing the Most Heretical Good Friday Party on Your Block

Step one. Buy a pack of “Hello, My Name Is … ” stickers for you and your friends. Assign everyone to be their favorite Good Friday character: Jesus, Peter, Mary, Herod, Barabus, Pilate, and don’t forget Judas! 10 lent points if you dress the part. Once you’ve all picked your persona of the day, hit the bar! It’s time for SHOTS FOR JESUS! Extra lent points if you only answer to your Good Friday name.

Step Two. Head over to your local Stations of the Cross ceremony, bring a friend or two, a stereo of some sort, and some meat since rumor has it those that honor this religious day don’t eat meat on Fridays this time of year. Park right in front by the door of the church so you can’t be missed, unroll all your windows and turn up the radio! As they walk out, hopefully with a crucifix with them, ask, “What’s hanging Jesus?” Set up your Good Friday playlist that starts with Rebecca Black’s “Friday”. Now that the congregation is giving you some dirty looks, take a big bite of whatever meat you brought and 5 lent points for yelling, “Jew you want to party?” as you drive away. That should really get the congregations attention.

To finish up, end up at home with some friends making up your own Good Friday drinks: Vodka Jesus, the Crucifixer, Bloody Friday, Back Splinters and whatever else you can come up with. With those drinks hopefully you will black out…for Jesus. 10 lent points for not puking up your last Vodka Jesus mixer.

-Ana Lucchese

  • Jake

    Makes me wish I could have performed in my yearly stations of the cross again this year, but I’ve got other commitments. If anyone is still in to this idea next year and I’m doing my Jesus impersonation, I’d love to see you there.

  • Harold

    I always think it’s funny how comfortable people feel making fun of Catholicism simply because it’s the majority religion in the county. It seems to be the current fad right now. Would you ever do that for another religion such as write about the ways to “blackout” each night for Ramadan? I think not…

    • (a) Actually, only 25% of Americans are Catholic. 51% identify as Protestant. (b) If you know of someone who’s written about how to black out each night of Ramadan, feel free to encourage him/her to submit to thetangential@gmail.com.