What Would Happen in Hell if It Was Designed to Be as Boring as Possible
-Everyone would immediately be paired with a friend who wanted to do nothing but talk about their one summer abroad in France.
-The only show on TV would be MASH.
-Each morning would start out with a 1-hour debate about which Radiohead album was the best.
-All hand soaps and body products would be in Cucumber Melon scent.
-The only place to drink would be a Tracy Chapman karaoke joint, where all the beer is 3:2.
-Everyone would have food allergies that weren’t deathly but just gave people unbearable gastrointestinal cramps, resulting in most of the food in hell being everything-free mush.
-The only social network you have access to is LinkedIn.
-There’s always some girl talking about lucid dreaming, and how you should try it.
-The only place you can shop is an Old Navy outlet.
-All toilets are guarded by Amnesty International donation solicitors.
-The Internet would just be photo albums of white families’ cycling trips, with long captions.