Fast-Food Competitors’ Answers to Pizza Hut’s Dinner Box Marriage Proposal Package

Fast-Food Competitors’ Answers to Pizza Hut’s Dinner Box Marriage Proposal Package


The Taco Bell Five Buck Bride Package

  • Grape Ring-Pop
  • Burro service
  • A guy lighting firecrackers in the parking lot
  • A disposable camera
  • A Five Buck Box, with your choice of Cheesy Gordita Crunch or Beefy Crunch Burrito
  • Half a roll of one-ply toilet paper (for after)

Total Cost:  $55

The KFC Double Down on Life Package

  • A diamond ring, hidden somewhere in your mashed potatoes
  • A table on the other side of the restaurant from the woman slurping down chicken wings in her pajamas
  • Ambulance service to the ER after your meal
  • A subscription to Diabetes Forecast magazine
  • A Roman candle
  • Two Double Down sandwiches

Total Cost: $5,007.25 (not including medical expenses)

The Denny’s Grand Slam Be My Ma’am Package

  • 50 cents for the ring-dispensing gumball machine in the lobby
  • A bickering elderly couple sitting in the booth next to yours
  • Air fresheners, to eliminate the odor of moth balls coming from the booth next to yours
  • A special one-night-only redaction of the “Kids Eat Free” deal
  • A box of black snake fireworks (noisy and/or bright fireworks tend to frighten our older customers)
  • Two Grand Slam meals

Total Cost: $30.50

– Paul Schmitt

Photo by Diane Maine (Creative Commons)