Jack Kerouac wrote a list of what he called the Thirty Essentials for “Belief & Technique for Modern Prose.” Now, Kerouac is dead, and as his self-appointed ghost, I have updated the list.

1. Keep secret .docs, with wild >10 pt. Helvetica font, for yr own joy
2. Submissive to everything weird or disturbing on the internet, open, listening
3. Try never smoke weed outside yr own room
4. Be in love with yr internet-self
5. Something that you write will find its own form somewhere online
6. Be a crazy dumb melodrama-queen of yr own mind
7. “Blow” as deep as you want to “blow”
8. Post what you want bottomless from bottom of your heart
9. The unspeakable first-person recounts of the individual
10. No poetry is bad poetry/ but exactly what is
11. Share emotional vulnerability shivering in your chest
12. Post in Adderall-tranced fixation focusing upon objects before you
13. Remove literary, grammatical, syntactical inhibition and auto-correct
14. Like Tao be an old teahead of trend
15. Interior-monolog of you telling the true story of the world
16. The jewel center of interest is the eye within the eye*
17. Blog in recollection and amazement for yourself
18. Work from pithy middle eye out, swimming in language sea*
19. Accept lost posts and unsaved documents
20. Believe in the holy template of life
21. Struggle to trace the flow that already exists intact in mind when y’re high
22. Don’t stop to think of better words see the picture Google synonyms later
23. Keep track of every day the date emblazoned in yr header
24. No fear or shame in the dignity of yr experience, language & knowledge**
25. Post for the world to read and see yr exact Flickr of it
26. Bookmovie is the movie-rights of yr words one day, the visual American memoir
27. In praise of internet-Persona for Blogging Bleak inhuman Loneliness
28. Composing wild undisciplined pure Tumblrs, crazier the better
29. You’re a Genius online
30. Writer-Director God of Earthly movies that Sponsors need to know

* 16, 18 are debatably nonsense and cannot be updated

**24 is still relevant as written

– Jourdan Aldredge