Things Bey and Jay-Z Should Have Considered Before Naming Their Baby “Blue Ivy”

Things Bey and Jay-Z Should Have Considered Before Naming Their Baby “Blue Ivy”


-Media references during her toddler years: Inevitable references to baby woes as having the Blues; “Fun” re-imagination of everyone in her universe as character’s from Blue’s Clues; possible options as new spokesperson for Kraft Macaroni and Cheese.

– If they have another baby, their first will forever be known as the “Blueprint”  à la Jay-z’s masterpiece, and child #2 will always live in the shadow of Baby #1.

– Entirely too many blue-colored baby gifts, blue birthday gifts throughout the years.

– Cheesy titles of episodes of Blue’s inevitable E! reality TV show: “She Blue Me Off.” “More like Poison Ivy.”

– Likely theme songs possibilities to said reality tv show: This, and this.

– House of Dereon could come out with an entire Baby Blues collection of baby clothes, but a blue jeans line won’t really have much oomph anymore.

– Unfortunate possible sex tape titles: “She Blue Me”, “She Totally Gave Me Blue Balls”, “I Blue My Load,” “She Really Blue It.”, “The Girl Blue Me …Away.”

– Neither Jay or Bey can ever do a Christmas CD because we already know they will be having a Blue Christmas.

– There are no good nicknames when your name is Blue. It is too short to shorten, and her middle name does not help. B-Ivy. Blivy. Bluvy. Blue-Z. Blu-Z. These are all terrible options.

– Jay-z and Beyonce are sure to get lots of babyblues.com-related gifts. Lame.

-Lindsay Lelivelt