OK gentlemen. You love getting sexy pictures sent to your private, dirty layer of an SMS stream. You like boobie hanging out shots, nipple close-ups, open vaginas, lingerie adventures, whatever.

Ladies also like sexy pictures. We enjoy your penises, and a picture really does help fill in the lines that memory cannot. But there are many ways to approach this shot.
The classic dick pic takes a “Wham, bam, here’s my dick!” approach. I’m guessing this reflects your secret inner desires when it comes to sexting. You want the close-up, the good stuff, the straight up sex organ, ready to go.

But the ladies, however, like a bit of context. Confused?

Here are some simple tips for a dick pic that she’ll truly cherish:

Show your face somehow

Women like faces. We watch Gossip Girl partly so we can zone out and think about Chuck Bass’ eyebrows. Think of it this way: A dick pic itself is a painting. Throwing a facial expression into it makes it a play. Are you looking curious? Desiring? Guilty? We want to know!

Also, throwing your familiar face into a dick pic makes receiving one feel like, “Hey, you! Cute sex partner! Let’s get dirty together while not in the same room.” Whereas no face is like, “Here’s muh dick, mmm!”

Final point on that, when it comes to a dick pic, adding a face is like signing it. The dick is no longer just an anonymous dick – it’s yours.

Add a bit of narrative

Here’s a secret. When we make our sexy pics, we have like 10 rejected shots for every one we send. For us, it’s a really fun photo shoot.

We fluff up our boobs, spread out our hair just right, and squirm around in a bunch of positions to see which ones make us look the most curvaceous but also show off our ribcage.

We consider the various states of undress we could show, and what the look on our face says about what we want to happen next.

Finally, once we are assured that we look like Jessica Rabbit, we press send.

Now let’s circle back to the dick pic.

The dick pic just doesn’t ask any questions. It doesn’t say, “May I remove your panties?” “Will you please pull my shirt over my head?” “Should we take this to the shower?”

Put yourself in a sexy position that we can look at and think, “Ah yes, I remember having sex like that. I liked it! Oh, and there’s the dick, ready to go!”

Make the setting clear

Some girls, maybe not all, get concerned with the details. Where exactly are you when you send this dick pic? Once we know you are in your bed or another enticing place and not sitting on the toilet of an airport bathroom or hanging out in the basement with your best friend, it gets a lot sexier.

Consider your props

This is sort of a “just in case” rule. While there might be cool props that could add color to a dick pic, it’s probably best not to have any. For example, don’t let these things get into your saucy photo:

-A fake rose
-A baseball hat
-A beer that you are drinking while holding your dick

You get the idea.

Happy dick pic-ing!

-Rachel Green

Photo by GenBug, Creative Commons