If America Had a Tumblr Like Iceland’s
You can find Iceland’s Tumblr here.
June 30, 2011
Whatup,
America here. I decided to get a Tumblr because my country invented the Internet and Tumblr and stuff, and I heard it’s cool.
In case you don’t know – I’m a giant country on the Western hemisphere that some call “the new world” because people didn’t know about it until like the 1500s and a bunch of European dudes killed all the nice people who lived here for centuries and could talk to animals, or something.
I’m full of big rivers like the Mississippi, skyscrapers, people with spray tans, silly bandz and cable guys. And Selena Gomez.
Do you want to learn an American word? Good. It’s called “English,” and it’s defined as the language that pretty much everyone in the world speaks these days. Go learn it.
Are you here because you are obsessed with one American band, and it’s all you really know about America? Probably not, because we have more than like 2 famous bands – sorry Iceland. Here, I’ll list some: John Mayer, Wavves, Ashlee Simpson … I could pretty much go on all day. We have so many bands and famous people in America that we have a sub-class of famous people who wear tube tops and heels and talk about them on TV.
I know what you’re thinking now – “But is America pretty?” I would argue, yes. We have a large canyon, The Great Lakes and some mountains – the best of which are located on Kim Kardashian (niiiiiiice!).
I think we should hang out sometime. I recommend California, where you can get a pot prescription pretty easily. I’ll bring some mini carrots and ranch.
Later,
America