Sexual Positions of the British Royalty

The Steeplechase. A game of “just the tip” between a male member of the royalty and a female commoner, in which the pair’s respective aims are non-impregnation and impregnation.

The Beefeater. Like a Rusty Trumpet, but classier.

The Bucking Ham. When executed properly, leads to rapid climax. When not, leads to injury or death.

The Pantysgawn. Doesn’t matter where they go, they just have to be gawn.

The Stinking Bishop. Self-explanatory.

The Peerage. With the lights on.

The Bushy House. Stay a while, but don’t relax.

The Chunnel. In a basement, at high speed.

The Bagshot Park. Careful not to shoot your bag too early.

The Lusty Lute. Either strumming or plucking are acceptable.

The Royal Lodge. Generic description for all or any of the above.

- Jay Gabler

Photo by Amy Clarke (Creative Commons)