Carles from Hipster Runoff: Go to Arby’s with your family. Tweet about it and watch everyone assume you’re being ironic.

Rich Juzwiak from FourFour: Cut up a whole seedless watermelon and feed half of it to your cat Winston. Make a video of him gingerly eating it. Post video. Sit back* and let millions of plays roll in. Eat the other half of the watermelon and edit together a supercut of every insane confrontation scene of My Strange Addiction.
* Sit back = write 10 articles for major outlets

Kat George from Thought Catalog: Put a frozen pizza in the oven. Start a sex-songs room on Turntable.fm. Have uninspiring sex. Make notes for blog post about it. Eat pizza.

Jane Aldridge from Sea of Shoes: Get invited to hip, one-word-named restaurant in wealthy American city while on a trip planned exclusively to shop for taxidermy and antique toys. Order of-the-moment-protein in slider form, covered in artisan cheese. Take pictures of it. Eat the garnish, leave the rest.

Emily Gould from Cooking the Books: Make video of self cooking something delicious with alt literary celeb, causing hundreds of viewers to wonder whether their lives would be like this if they stopped blogging for a few months and wrote a book; but to ultimately conclude, nah, they’d still be microwaving burritos.

Dave Bry from The Awl: Thoughtfully arrange pecans, corn syrup, butter, brown sugar, salt, vanilla, into a pre-made pie crust. Bake a pecan pie. After taking it out of the oven, write a letter of apology to it.

Tao Lin from “the Internet”: Tweet, “If 10,000 people retweet this, @meganboyle and I will bake our blood into cookies and eat them.” Get 387 retweets. Make a peanut butter sandwich.

– Jay Gabler and Emily Weiss

Photo by LateEnough (Creative Commons)