I tend to be a critical person. This was a problem for me especially as a child, when critiquing the British accents that your friends give to their Barbies will not, in fact, make you popular, and any constructive feedback you give your parents earns you the label “smartass,” sans dessert.

Growing up critical, you learn to surround yourself with fellow side-of-mouth-smirkers, irony-users and Hallmark-boycotters. You might even end up working in the hub of criticism, a creative marketing agency known for solving problems (first step: make a list of cliches) or an Arts & Entertainment section known for bullying singer-songwriters. This type of environment that celebrates deconstruction and even “snobbery” can make it harder to deal with the downfalls of your critical nature, and even remove the sensor you probably should have in normal human scenarios.

This becomes especially apparent in the realm of social media and self-publishing. Congratulations! You can review, analyze, deconstruct and flat-out call bullshit on whatever you want, for an audience of hundreds, thousands or hundreds of thousands. And readers like it. A post I wrote about “10 Types of People I Don’t Like” is our 4th most popular, ever, and I wrote it in about 5 minutes.

But it’s not always good. Every writer has that time when they write something negative about a real person, and then actually talk to them or one of their friends. This breaks a certain stupid innocence that you once had, where you hadn’t thought about their actual existence or even pondered the idea that they might read what you wrote.

Once I started doing something creative in the public eye, open to whatever criticism may come, I learned quickly that it can be humbling. Don’t get me wrong, I still believe completely in the right to criticize public figures. That’s partly what the media’s for. But I’ve also learned how generally unattractive it is when a person’s whole schtick is negativity, and their Twitter stream is characterized by sentiment like, “Oh, I wish I could hear more tweets about [concert everyone’s going to that night.] Not!” The more I notice it in others, the more I try to stifle this urge in myself, but occasionally something like “U2 sucks” will come out after a few drinks.

The important thing to realize is that, no matter how implausible it seems, in the Twitter age, almost anyone you write about could read what you wrote. Antagonism is entertaining, and criticism is valuable, but burning bridges happens faster than ever in this sphere. It’s hard, but when I have larger beef than hating Bono, I try to take it off of the public sphere. Or at least I’m trying to learn.

–Becky Lang

Photo by Sebastyne