Orange: Your mother never let you paint your room when you were a child. You grew up with any number of off-white shades until she found that elusive perfect shade of eggshell. But now? Now you’re in control. You’re fun and kitsch and the orange walls go perfectly with your green shag rug over your all natural wood grain floor panels.
Yellow: You are either having a baby and want a gender neutral option a la Juno, or you genuinely wanted to create a warm and welcoming bedroom environment for when you come home from working overtime at your unpaid internship for the magazine of your dreams and the early shift at Starbucks. Your favorite ice cream is Stephen Colbert’s Americone Dream and you have no idea who Darren Criss is.
Green: Is it lime green or a moss green? Or maybe a kelly? It doesn’t matter, really. You throw yourself into your social life, often neglecting other responsibilities—like grocery shopping, showering, and anniversaries. Your favorites films are Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, The Wall, Kung Pow, and Mean Girls. Your girlfriend wishes you called her more.
Red: You painted your room this color in high school to express your inner angst and rage against the patriarchal society that kept you trapped in the house of your father with no car of your own and a heavily enforced noise curfew against jamming after ten. It showcases your affinity for—but not direct affiliation with—the communist cause.
Blue: They told you at the paint store that blue was calming and tranquil. You believed them, and are happy with your choice.
Indigo: This is not to be mistaken for purple or violet, especially not lavender. It is indigo and that is all. Your walls are complemented by cerulean bedding and a fresh vase of peonies at all times. You subscribe to the New York Times, the Wall Street Journal, The New Yorker, and Time. All of your socks are matched and you make the best wheatgrass shakes this side of the Mason-Dixon.
Violet: Your landlord will not let you repaint the walls of your small studio apartment. Your fixed gear leans between your dining room table and your microwave stand, and sometimes acts as a drying rack for your flannel. You have an ironically unironic homage to Prince above your desk/ironing board/pantry. Sometimes you like to crack your knuckles and wrists. You are self-conscious about the fact that your neighbors can hear you having sex.
– Lindsay Lelivelt will neither confirm nor deny the color of her bedroom walls, but will take the highest bidder on a personal tour.