Well, it finally happened guys.

I fell off the EWWIRU wagon. It’s a small wagon – less like the haunted hay ride at Spookyworld and more like one of those carts they have for little kids at the grocery store – but it’s a wagon I was riding (pulling?) for 8 weeks strong and now I have to come back to you shoulders slumped, wearing a hair shirt, and self-flagellating in a public shame parade of my own making. Don’t be surprised you run into me later tonight while I’m sitting in the pouring rain outside your apartment, tearing the rough drafts of EEWIRUs weeks 2, 4, and 7 into a thousand tiny pieces while I scream up at your window “WHAT ELSE DO YOU WANT FROM ME???”

If it’s any consolation, I do have some pretty solid items for you this week so maybe you should cool it with the reprimanding and bring it to a rolling boil with the reading.

Items of Interest: Week of 6/8 – 6/14

Awww! AWWW! Seeing this baby raccoon wearing a splint just reminds me of the time my friend Maria and I found a bunch of moles in her garage and convinced ourselves that they had broken legs so we set up a mole hospital and made casts for them out of toilet paper and peanut shells. I cooed over this picture for awhile but then I read the whole story and I felt sort of defensive and sad and then I felt like “ugh, maybe raccoons are gross.” You just still haven’t completely won me over, raccoons. Or you, Toronto.

I know the manufacturers of this alarm clock weight think they are being soooo helpful by forcing you to do 30 reps of lifting it before it will cease its infernal buzzing (or if it was my alarm clock, infernal playing of Europe’s The Final Countdown) but my thought is that if this thing is easily graspable, that also means it’s easily throw-out-your-windowable. AMIRITE?? Waking up is the pits! Don’t even TALK to me until I’ve gotten my coffee. I go to my kitchen and stand in front of the coffeemaker and I’m like “Fill ‘er up please. Unleaded!”

This comic made me laugh a lot of laughs. Real ones. I think because the artist’s version of Harry Potter makes him just look like the nerdy L.A.R.P.E.R kid that lives next door to Veronica Lodge or something.

More comics and more lulz here.

National Geographic published a photo gallery of all these pictures of cuttlefish (or cuddlefish as I prefer to think of them) adapting to their environs and being generally shape-shifty and pre-historic looking. GAH! Cuttlefish continue to mystify/terrify/defy logic in general. WHAT ARE YOU? WOULD YOU TASTE GOOD DEEP FRIED WITH MAYBE A BASIL AIOLI??

Yesterday I was cruisin’ Twitter and thought I would check to see if any celebrities that popped into my head had accounts, and that was how I ended up looking for Soon-Yi Previn and her “dad husband” (her words, not mine). She is only following two people and they are…..hahahahahaha

– Emily Weiss