– After increased usage, Latisse may cause an unsafe rise in the number of people who look at your eyes, making the 10 grand spent on your new rack utterly wasteful.
– Eyelash growth was uncontrollable in some of our laboratory tests, leading to a few Rapunzel-esque cases.
– While increased brown pigment in the eye might be permanent, pink and green definitely are.
– Following market research from leading economists, the world will run out of mascara by 2013 from the increased demand of newly full lashed Latisse users.
– Don’t use Latisse if you are pregnant, or are thinking of becoming pregnant as in extreme cases the child will come out all lash.
– Clare Danes may or may not show up at your doorstep with a copy of Shopgirl.
– While not seen in our clinical tests, just in a YouTube video we watched, Latisse might cause your eyeballs to sprout legs and shill Coke Zero.

–Eric Wall