What a guy’s body type says about his dick size and fuckability

I’m not saying I’m some kind of giant hedonistic slut, but I have been around the block a time or two. In my nearly 15 years of sexin’, I’ve curated quite a collection of varieties of people whose wang-a-dang-doodles have had occasion to come into contact with various parts of my person. As such, I would estimate that I can accurately gauge the size of your Jimmy Johnson from ten paces, after some simple, but careful observations.

I will detail these criteria by height for ease of identification.

6’2″-6’4″

If he is this tall but possesses a naturally skinny or unhealthily thin build, his penis will match this build. It will be long, and skinny. Likely 5 1/2″-6″ at a maximum. As a person, this man will probably be seriously emotionally damaged and hate women a little bit but insist he doesn’t. He will try to please you, but if he doesn’t he’ll get really upset or blame you for it.

If he is this tall, but merely slender, i.e. possessing the height and weight common to the Northern European men of our upper Midwest region, his penis size will match these parameters, proffering a pleasing thickness and length of up to 7 1/2″, but never under 5 1/2″. He’ll be about a 7 1/2 on the Lay Scale, too. These guys will generally become thicker bodily after their 27th year, and frequently possess an intellectual superiority focused on philosophy, art or film that’s super annoying but also kind of hot.

If he is this height, but of a naturally thicker build who may or may not have been kind of a fatty in his teens and early 20s, perhaps with a slight protrusion of belly leftover that never quite goes away no matter how much he rides his bike or hikes up a mountain, and he looks like he could quite wield an axe upon some trees, then he will likely have the loveliest cock imaginable. While I prefer a man to be between 5’10″ and 6’2″, in height, there is much to be said for this type of man and I pretty much promise that at 6’2″-6’4″, he will be sporting a dong that can make you sing a song. It will also, by some freak biological anomaly, be the rock-hardest erection you’ll ever come into contact with, the kind you could crack a tooth on if you’re not careful.

5’10″-6’1″

At this height range, I will only go into the build that offers the best goods. Look out for them, as they are really great for one-night stands or brief deeply fucked up relationships that make you completely question everything in a really good way.

This fellow will unerringly have a meat whistle that is attached to a body that can fuck like a porn star, and pretty much only like a porn star. Do not expect any kind of eye contact or emotional connection, just jump on for the orgasms and learn to laugh when he dismounts immediately after to drink orange juice or do pushups. What is this build? Well, it’s the one oft found on bicycle punks who may or may not shower super often who are of a slight build, but not technically skinny, just…rangy. Like, you would never, ever want to get into a fight with them because they could fucking KILL YOU. Which is, of course, also the quality that makes them fuck like a porn star. These men will have a dick that’s a nice thickness and about 6 1/2″ inches in length. Nothing to complain about. They will frequently be completely shit-faced and may or may not have a black eye.

5’7″-5’9″

This height range can be a crap shoot, and you’ll have to have a keen eye to glean the best comeliness of cock from them. The best in this height range are often better lays than taller men because, as their dicks are generally of average size, then they’ve had to learn how to use their hands and their tongues for hundreds of indecent and thoroughly enjoyable purposes. These ones to look for skew toward the petite, but not skinny end of the spectrum. Similar to the rangy build of the previous man-dish, these guys lack the rigidity of musculature of those fellows, and really can just be best described as petite. They will have weens up to 6″ in length, with a wholly satisfying girth. You will find yourself having multiple orgasms and will be attended to both emotionally and physically. Outside of sex, they will be oddly emotionally unavailable and deny being in love with you after telling you they’re in love with you.

Last, and least, the warning: there are two builds in this height range which are never suitable for a sport fuck, but can be excellent dating material if you’re not really interested in sex. They will be either squishy or barrel chested. If barrel chested, they will have what I can only accurately describe as monkey face. They will be incredible kissers and snugglers, but will lack penis size or the drive to satisfy you sexually. They will make excellent rebound relationships or men to commit to when the whole world frightens you. Even though the sex never really manifests in a orgasmic kind of way, they’re the kind of men who are sweet but just enough of an asshole that you will continue to be kind of in love with them the rest of your life and kind of wish you didn’t really need to get your head rammed into a headboard at least once a week because they’re really good guys.

- Sarah Moeding could use a deep dickin’ about now. She’s friends with most of her exes, and wrote this while listening to Justin Timberlake.

  • bort

     This is upsetting me. 

  • http://www.facebook.com/minscoe Michael Inscoe

    uhm eerily correct

    i won’t say how tall i am

  • Dragonfly19708080

    What about men under 5′ 3″?

    • http://sarahmoeding.tumblr.com/ Sarah Moeding

      A man under 5’3″ is not something I’ve experienced, but I would wager that Seth Green, who is 5’3″, but of a stocky build, has a very nice, thick cock that measures at least more than the numbers in his height, and that he knows how to use it.

      • Doug

        Just letting everyone know that I’m 5’2 and my own is is 7.25 inches and I’m only 23 lol I believe that it’s all genetically there. I’m Latino too

  • http://snailshellbackpack.wordpress.com aurist

    cool i am just outside of this list

  • jasmine

    The guy I’ve just started dating (aka haven’t banged yet) is 5’6″ and super buff, what’s your assessment.

  • ryan

    im 6,4 maybe 6,5 now. and i can be proud of my 7+. very intresting post.

    • ed

      im six foot four too an skinny but i have a 10incher thats thick ..go figure

  • chris

    Not giving us short guys much credit. Sounds like u just like big taller manly guys..lol. I’m a manly man but unfortunately short (about 5’5″ and medium/skinny build. But have a Dick almost 8″ and very thick. I was in the military and have seen 100s of men nude (kinda sucks having to share big Ass shower rooms). I have noticed there is almost nothing to tell the size of a mans Dick. Seems completely random. Only thing that may help is a skinnier build as the fat does not take up space around base of Dick.

    • Sarah Moeding

      There may be nothing to you that indicates their penis size, but you’re also a.) not attracted to men and b.) not seeing these men’s penis erect. Many men are growers, not showers. That average sized, or small, flaccid floppy thing you see in the shower might puff up immeasurably with a bit of attention. Or do almost nothing at all aside from becoming erect.

      I’ve reread my piece a hundred times and don’t understand why anyone says this is negative toward short men. I don’t have experience with anyone under 5’6″ and I state that. The piece is written on my experience, not about the vast array of bodies in the entirety of our species. There’s also nothing about men who are over 6’4″.

      • Doug

        You have no idea what you’re talking about.

        A) 6 1/2″ is by no means long. You need to find some real men, because you thinking that that’s big is laughable.

        B) I’m 6’1″ 197lbs. 7 1/2″ and thick. Oh, and to quash any questions. I would never fuck a stupid bitch such as yourself.

        C) You’re fat, aren’t you?

      • Doug

        Also, if the pictures that are coming up by googling your name is you. You’re fuckin’ hideous and I can see why you’ve never had a real man.

        Don’t act like you’re a pro at this, you’re fuckin’ gross.

  • https://www.facebook.com/Mdiesel8 Matt

    5’11ish for me. Not punk, no black eyes….well…for at least a few years and built like a football player. I have never gotten complaints. Maybe you’re on to something.

    Side note: I’m not sure how I stumbled in here. I was looking for articles about writing. Had to comment though. It is a compulsion.

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  • Joy

    Actually bitch, you don’t know every guy in the world. A guy who is taller, can be a little wimp to most girls and won’t satisfy them after having his way with them. A guy smaller than that can fuck a girl so good and can finish her off to where there would be nothing else left to do. Guys smaller can love better than taller men and can give all the pleasures to a women with his normal sick size, than a dumbfuck that is 6’2″ or taller. You don’t know shit about sex and only care about dick sizes and how it feels. If there was one type of guy girls should marry to have a great husband, is a guy who is from 5’7″ to 5’11″ feet tall

    • Sarah Moeding

      You’re really good at reading.

      • BostonLaw

        Ha ha!
        He repeated exactly what you posted. I’m late but I love your sense of humor. Guys and their dicks!

      • Salena

        This article was funny. I appreciate you sharing your experience. Clearly the men who are actually angry and mean and who care enough to reply have issues with their little or big dicks / or legs. Thanks for the entertainment guys. Keep it up.

  • Alex

    LOL!! funny ass post im 5’11 u gave us some credit, to all u haters out there its only cause ur dicks are small LoL! i came to my computer and this was on it, i wonder what the fuck my brother was looking up LOL poor guy keep up the good work!

  • Guy

    I’m almost definitely your skinny, tall, emotionally battered man with a slight disdain for women i’d rather shake (though they have been known to mess me around prolifically (this is not a sob story)). Too accurate.

    So what i want to know is, if these classifications of men really do match up so well (emotional to height to endowment), do you reckon emotional state whilst your growing up has a significant effect to your adult physical size/shape?

  • Dude.

    Normally I don’t care about these things I know my truth but this ego of mine just won’t let it go. I’m about 5’5 5’6 my dick is about 8-9″ long, I’m not sure I haven’t measured it since middle school. Also to note I’m skinny and pretty darn thin but that effects my penis size not at all. Like I said before normally this wouldn’t bother me but for fear that some idiotic girls base their entire judgment on men off of this it’s better that I say something. You know for the rest of the short guys out there.

  • Alex

    6′ 3”, built like a brick shithouse. 210 lb, none of it fat and from what I’ve heard I fit this all to a “T”. In fact, if I wasn’t SURE I’d remember you, I’d think we’d slept together…

    (I’m going to feel really embarrassed now if we have and I’ve forgotten)

  • jason

    im 6ft 4 borderline 6ft 5, about 220 lbs. Im more heavyweight set/build. I look like a linebacker thats stopped working out. My size is a bit(not much) over 8 inches long and pretty decently thick so i find this article amusing lol

  • Giant

    Im 7ft tall what you got to say about me? lol

  • http://lsjflkjsdfkwe bigenough

    Well, My conclusion to any women reading this. Pure speculation, no evidence. Also another conclusion, if some women were not such whores, they wouldn’t need a big dick. Plus no guys enjoys throwing his hotdog down a hallway!

  • Anonymous

    I’m a gay guy from northern England and I’m 5ft6″ with a skinny but muscle toned body that requires no gym and my cock is 7.5, quite thick. I’ve been with many guys and the tallness isn’t true! You get the odd few with a very big penis and that’s not often, only two have been bigger than me. I’ve found 5ft 8″ to 5ft 11″ seem to match me or a tad smaller which I can work with that, haha. Little heads up :) guys that tend to work out and take gym way too serious tend to be over compensating! ;) tho the European statement is true!

  • Rick

    Wow I had to comment on this because one of the categories you listed fits me perfectly (6’4 and used to be thicker). Now I know what my competition’s like.

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  • Geico

    Lol this was great. I’m 5 10, skinny, but muscular. I frequently surprise people with how strong I am. Not sure if that’s what you mean by rangy, but it sounds about right. You got the fighting part right and unfortunately the brief and fucked up relationships part too, but those are things I picked up later in life in the underground music scene. I used to be such a sweet little guy :(. Lol nice article anyway, it was enjoyable to read but pretty freaky.

  • DAnnual

    I’m 6’4 slender looking but strong, have a 7 1/2 about 5 to 6 inch around. I’m not sure about the exact circumstance :p but it’s can be very hard and I have intense orgasms so I could says ur assessment on me was pretty good :p.

  • boboblong

    thanks for expressing your fondness for men and our penises, its always nice to read something positive aboot a penis! thumbs up

  • Jango

    This is really stupid. Way to sweepingly generalize billions of people.

  • dutch

    I like this my measurements are ……5`8 height, slim build,,,,…….7.5 lenth 5.5 width and upward curve and black lol so what u thinkin now

  • Kira

    Wow dis is d best eva, evry gal wants a guy with high emotional responce. And can satisfy real hard

  • j

    Uh, so what you’re saying is that if a 5’10″ thin guy gets fat his dick gets fatter too? This sounds like a bullshit list where you’re thinking of your ex’es and saying everyone that height is the same as them. Lol.

  • Michelle

    My boyfriend is skinny and 5’5 or 5’6 he has a HUGE cock. He won’t eat me out though -.-

  • Some guy with a dragon.

    I’m 5’5 and my penis is 7.2 inches long and 5.5 inches thick erect.
    This theory of yours smells like bullshit.

  • jack

    I’m 6’2 155 and 20 years old with a 5 3/4″ so I would say that’s pretty accurate, looks small on my body

  • john

    I’m 5’11 and i’m 8 and thick,, sounds like you might be off a bit

  • Preston

    ugh. God I hate women sometimes….the stupid cunts are always worried about who has the biggest dick. Maybe if your snatch wasn’t so loose from taking cocks like filthy sluts all the time, you wouldn’t need a big dick!

  • Liz

    My boyfriend is 5’7 average build with a dick just a bit over 7 inches. My previous boyfriend was 6’6 with a 6 inch skinny dick. Never judge a book by its cover.

  • Josh

    im 5’7 8″….and white

  • Some curious girl

    I don’t care about lenght because the longer a penis is, the more it hurts so I can say I like the average size.

    But thickness… oh well, this is a completely different topic, you know for me, the thicker the better!!! I’ve found there’s a relation between thickness and body built, and usually tall men with a naturally thicker built (above 6′ with strong and manly hands) have the thicker penises of all hehehe this is merely based from my experience.

    I’ve dated short men (below 5’6″) and their penises are shorter or average size, maybe some have longer penises but I haven’t known any. From what I know their penises are not so thick.

  • notastatistic

    This is the most ridiculous article I’ve ever read. You’re an idiot woman. lol. Really.

  • mike

    I’m 6’5 tall and my dick is only about 5 inches and thin. I have to work hard to please a woman.

    • Jai

      Bro to bro, when you are hard, squeeze the back end of the shaft then slowly push the blood towards the head while squeezing your head and pulling lightly. The more blood you have in there and the harder you are, the bigger you will get. Aldo eat healthy, take vitamins and male hormones if you don’t see results. The penis grows slightly the more you are hard. Yeah you’re welcome, my buddy is 6’5 16″, heard rumors, and rumors about sex are always true. Do your research if you don’t believe that method.

  • Trance Girl

    The author of this article is measures men by how much money or crack they give her. What she doing blogging? She should be out providing her special services and also getting special surgeries to tighten up those cracks that keep getting loose everytime she gets swept off her feet and into a telephone pole. Don’t pay attention to this crap guys, be what you are supposed to be. Be Men and you will meet a Woman who will get to know you rather than a stale vagina who judges you just by how you look. Sexy and Class is something you are raised with…but you can learn it if you weren’t taught it growing up.

    • Sarah Moeding

      ::hugs::

      • Albert

        Hi, I’m a 5’7″ redhead guy and I’m have a 4″ and very it’s very thin. Been told its the Irish Inch curse and have seen other gingers in the locker room and have to say all have need tiny.

  • Sarah Moeding

    The author of this article thinks Trance Girl should get a cookie.

    For the record, I’ve never tried crack and don’t intend to. I will accept gifts of whiskey, however. Powers and water, preferably, heavily watered, with no ice. It almost certainly won’t get you laid, but I will definitely smile at you. You’ll like my smile.

  • Actionhero

    she got.it.on the t for me, im 5’9-5’1o n barrel chested, with a 675 tool and I knw and see my gf lovs me like crzy but notice I do more of other things to.get.her to the point of climax, its never just a fk quik one cuz those never do anything, but she gets there also I feel im not that great fk she used to get n im kind of n asshole I was her rebound but I feel she stayed so.comfortable with me and we get along great that she does lov me prbly not.the physical action but me n she was goin thru som crap when we first hookd up so with me she got.it except the monkey face , and people should stop getting so angry its what shes experienced and if women use it as guidlines instead of opinion then they are the kind you werent.going.to get lucky with to begin with, its a broad opinion, take it and yeah use it as such and you have to know not everyone is alike but many times im not saying always , but.if it looks like a duck, quaks then most likely its a duck , doesnt.mean the duck has a little d!#k and he doesnt know how to please…….my 2¢

  • Alex

    I feel dumber from having clicked on this link.

  • Ben

    As A German American that is 6’2 and 195 pounds with a thick, 8 inch dick. This article seems to be truthful for taller/ more muscleuar men like myself.

  • big i

    i’m 5’7 ,and my penis is at 8 inches and thick… my nationality is puerto rican/dominican /spaniard

  • BlahhDeeBlahhDeeBlahhh

    Utter BS. Everyone is different. I read a study where the shortest guy in the sample of 200 (approx. 5’5″) had the biggest member in the bunch (almost 8″). It’s all the luck of the draw. And genetics.

  • Bsa philp

    This is has some truth to it but has room for variance..it really does vary on individuals. Just like what some one said earlier in the army you come across 6 ft guy with small dongs, no matter what kind of persuasion you give it. Anyway, in my instance in kind of true I’m 5.6ft with 6.1 inch dong. I make my missus orgasm from sex mix with oral. So for the blog I think it’s class to get this out there, just thought I’d say for guys reading this on self pitty man the fuck up..you’ll get pussy if you do this, girls smell pussies and does not aspire to acquire more than one of them.

  • Chuck

    I am just under 5’7″. I have a naturally muscular build barrel chest and my cock is 7″ long and 6″ around. No, i am not John Holmes, but see the reaction when my cock enters woemen in the 5’9″ range (tallest i ever had sex with) I don’t believe this article is at all accurate as regards size, but I do agree with a man of my height being a better lover…. :P

  • Jr

    I’m 5″3′ with 7inch long 4.5 diameter 180 pounds I used to be muscular

  • Jay

    29 year old guy from England here, and you described me quite well lol – 5’10, well built from gym work but my body is quite average. I don’t get in that many fights but I have been involved in a few dust-ups in my time.. Never had a black eye tho lol but I stil do get shit-faced often and I dont shower very often lol… Anyway I’m pushing 7 inches on a good day, quite thick I think, and yes indeed I can fuck like a porn star, and masterbate like one too lol

  • Brett

    This entire webpage is hilarious. A girl playing carnival worker, making sweeping generalizations, matching dicks up with height and weight. And every guy thats posted has claimed to have 7-8 inches except for one. Yeah, somethings not right here. Lets play the same game but with women:

    Taller than 6 feet: Almost always will be double D’s, will be the most fun, and will always have the guy’s pleasure in mind.

    5’7-5’9: These are your C cups, sometimes a D. Most are wet fish in bed but you don’t need her to do much work when shes got tits like that.

    5’0-5’6: A cups with nothing but a nice ass. Personality? I don’t know, never bothered talking to an A cup.

  • L

    I am 5′ 10″, athletic, 6 inch girth and 7 1/2 inches, big head, and fuck like a porn star, I’ve made girls see colors and start halucinating during their constant orgasm, but when I jump off to get orange juice, I get some for you too!!! How fucking sweet of me, I also make breakfast and give you a great back massage. But yeah, relationships have been deep, brief, and fucked up. But I’m not ruined., even though she cheated on me with a short skinny, balding, ugly (though very nice) dude.

    Now mother nature is my gf, but I will find someone, and she is gonna be stoked!!

  • http://gmail Alex

    nothing

  • Doug

    Just letting everyone know that I’m 5’2 and my penis is 7.25 inches and I’m only 23 lol I believe that it’s all genetically there. I’m Latino too! I’m 148lbs slim muscular guy though

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  • DildoModel

    6’2″, 210 lbs and I sport a Congo fat sized cock at ~6″ around and 7.5″ long.

    Women who enjoy a thick strong cock enjoy mine, I’ve made some very special female friends by power pounding pussy like a vanilla a gorilla manimal, broke two beds too!

    For the record, tall, pear-shaped women are the best fuck ever! That’s right a tall, pear-shaped woman who sports a fat, juicy cunt that naturally, greedily devours a fat, vigorous cock like mine with great relish. Often gushing ejaculation follow, I’ve had to cover my bed with a tarp to protect the mattress!

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  • T

    5’7″ latino 20lbs overweight… my penis base to tip is 7.4 inches. Circumference 5.5 inches exactly…. Youre observations are entertaining but are skanky psuedo science. The author is white, overweight, has a tight deep under used vagina…. And loves attention. Oh boy does she get attention :/ I do use my tongue alot though… Weird

  • Teach children to worship satan

    God damn women these days are so fuckin shallow and they wonder why they get raped and the shit beat out of them all the time. It’s dumb cunts like all of these that make me lose all faith in the human race. Choke on a horse cock and stab yourself in the throat. Swallow that AIDS infected cum and die you fucking rodents.

  • gazflava187

    this might be some what true MAYBE BUT IM 16 5″8 and my dick iis 7 i dont see how people would base the height and weight to some how messure statisticly a penis its just like the stereotype big feet big dick idk if it true but what evers and then again im size 10 so skank o do the math or maybe u kick it and ill pump u then u can be wrong about all this bs …

  • Ricardo

    Hoooly shit I HAD TO BOOKMARK THIS and show my girlfriend. I’m 6’5″ and this describes me perfectly to the T. (the 6’4″ category). I can’t believe you even went out and mentioned the guys that used to be big in their late teens-early twenties and lost alot of weight (me). I’m starting to seriously think I have encountered you before.. this is too weird.

  • mr moto

    I had a 3 some with a friend and his girlfriend, I’m 5.9 he’s 6.2. I was amazed by how small his dick was!
    his girlfriend wasn’t expecting 6.5 from me when her boyfriend had just on 5. I don’t class mine as big at all
    but it’s quite thick and that’s what girls love.

  • http://youtube big steve

    iam 5 11 232 pounds and my dick is 9inch and iam 6 1/2 inch thick and i kno how 2 use it i was not born dis way my mom said my dad was alrite. but am soild strong almost no stomach i used extenze it works some i gain girth mostly and a inch of dick. your dick is a sponge learn da science behind it. iam cocky u only live once.

  • cwool

    HAHAH this bitch is a joke..

  • Con1911

    Im 5’8 and i am a few inches above average and built strong and lean so your whoreish nonsense dosent prove anything everybody is different and body size should not push a girl away.

  • Con1911

    Im 5’8 and i am a few inches above average and built strong and lean so your whoreish nonsense doesn’t prove anything everybody is different and body size should not push a girl away.

    • http://twitter.com/smoeding Sarah Moeding

      What always amuses me about those of you who are offended is that I never once say anything bad about these assertions, in regard to dick size. Not once. It’s all pretty complimentary (especially considering that I say, basically, the smaller the dick, the better the lover, because they actually know how to do something other than plow a lady’s nether regions; guys with big dicks typically never get past the praise of, “Oh my! Your dick is huge!” to start working on actual, in-bed SKILL). Nor do I mention anyone who is anything but average sized or above, and yet the misogynist language flows like semen, squirtin’ everywhere with ill-placed, righteous indignation.

      Pretty much what it always conveys is, “I have a small dick.”

  • Steven

    It’s funny because literally nothing about this article is scientifically based. There is no physical or non-physical attribute about a man that can help someone determine penis size. There’s also no actual rhyme or reason to penis size other than genetics. Height does not determine size. Nor does size determine height. Based off of this article, you should be able to see just a man’s erect penis and be able to guess, correctly, their height and personality. None of this article is concretely true. It may be based off of your experiences but everyone has different experiences. Six inches is the average people! (Well, 5.9 inches) There is nothing to be ashamed about being average! I am not offended by this article because of the fact that I have an average sized penis, I am more offended at the fact that this article makes claims with absolutely no scientific backing and may mislead people in their beliefs. Just a note to the author: if this many people are offended by your article, there’s probably a good reason; it would do us all good to just forget these ridiculous stereotypes and stop perpetuating them as you have successfully done in this article.

    • Sarah Moeding

      Oh dear.

      I suppose what I didn’t take into account was that people don’t have a sense of humor. If this many people are offended by my article, it’s doing its job! You’ll note that a great many people also find it accurate and quite amusing. And you know what? I’ve never been wrong. Put me in a bar or other large gathering of people, and I’ve accurately guessed a man’s dick size, in length and circumference EVERY time. Yes, each one of them has confirmed it. So it may not be science, but I’ve got a knack for this that turns into a parlor game any time someone mentions this article in public.

      And why would it work the other way? The man’s body type (read: height, build and the way he carries himself, NOT just height) determines how I figure out his dick size. The dick itself says nothing. It’s just a dick. The same dick thickness and length can be applied to several body types. I also celebrate the average dick. Again, those with a smaller cock learn how to be better lovers cuz they don’t have a club between their legs that they think will do all the work for them.

      • Steven

        Thank you for explaining what you have actually meant for this article. I went through and read the other comments after I commented and wow! Some people really did get upset! It’s nice to see a writer who takes the time to reply to people. All in all, it is quite a funny article, I must say! And I do think its nice how you value people of all shapes and sizes ;D

      • http://Facebook.com/creatorx Jai

        Let’s test this theory, message me and I’ll sent you a picture. If you guess it right I’ll write you a poem or something :0 If not I’m calling TmZ or Tosh 0 on you. :P jtwistx @outlook no space.

  • http://www.facebook.com/creatorx Jai

    This is hilarious, but in a good way. I like it and believe it’s true for the type of guys you are interested in. Except I feel sorry for you not experiencing the guys you really want to experience. I think you limit yourself a little to much, from the sound of this topic I’d say you only date white guys between 24 and 32 if not older. You only described three types of little men. There are plenty of men out there with bigger Dong Long Johnson Yangs. The guys getting upset here pretty much prove what you say is true, because they shouldn’t get upset or dissatisfied if it were not true about them. Just saying… For all the guys who did get upset, get over it and be happy with who you are. If you want bigger songs, go jack off. It really is a perfect exercise. Haha throw some stretches and twist in those sessions while you’re at it you ungrateful cough couch cough, excuse me. :P

  • http://Google Mike

    I’m 5’6 an 6’5-7 inches an it seems like the only reason girls hang out with me is for dick. Maybe cause its always rock hard and sercimsized. An they aint ugly thats my boys appinion not mine only and I don’t ever go down on them. An they still wanna be my girl even if I tell them it’s bad. They still be blowin me an blowing up my phone. An I ain’t rich so I don’t know i guess it depends on who swingin the bat. If it ain’t 2 small.

  • markh

    Mid-30s in age, 6′ tall, 170 lbs, wiry strong (aka don’t look big but can bench much more than my body weight and do chin ups with weights in a backpack), exact cock dimensions (measured correctly along the top with the ruler pressed slightly into fat pad) is 6 3/4″ long X 5 3/8″ around, the diameter is over 1 1/2″.

    I’m highly intelligent and rather reserved. However, when I fuck a girl for the first time I talk dirty to them, slap their ass a bit, gently tug their hair, and find a position that works for them and them pound them until they cum. I can usually last at least 30 minutes the first time around.

  • http://M M

    What a fucking whore. Simple as that.

  • Richard

    “Put me in a bar or other large gathering of people, and I’ve accurately guessed a man’s dick size, in length and circumference EVERY time.”

    I bet if I saw you in a bar, I’d accurately guess how many diseases you’ve collected from all the cock you’ve obviously had – and maybe I could tell how fucking stretched and ruined your putrid gash is.

    Wouldn’t touch a slut like you with someone else’s.

    • https://twitter.com/smoeding Sarah Moeding

      Hello! I am Sarah, the author of this piece. Well, you’re a sad little man, aren’t you, Richard? Guess what. A woman having *gasp* as many partners as the average man doesn’t make her a whore. Nor does it give her diseases, or cause her “putrid gash” to become “stretched and ruined.” Sounds like someone is threatened by the idea of a woman with a little sexual power, poor thing.

  • Marie

    Not really. I have seen super skinny guys with the thickest and longest dicks. Visit tumblr sometime soon and see for yourself

  • Bonerjamz

    This may be the ‘average’, but thanks to internet anonymity I can say anything.

    1) I’m 5’9″ , skinny (140lbs) and have an 8″ dick that is also thick. It’s been described as “aesthetically pleasing”

    2) I think I just explained it all in one.

  • Hairy Dick

    I love how every guy on here describes himself as having a 7+inch cock. You’re all full of shit. Knock off a couple of inches and come back to reality.

  • big guy with a small to average cock

    This is total bullshit, i am a male standing just under 6 foot 3 inches and i’m built like The Rock and thats without much lifting im just genetically big built.

    But my cock when at it’s full maximum blood pumping biggest is probably around 6 and a half inches, but ive never measured… but for the most part its under 6 inches unless I’m really excited.

    And it aint even a medium length but thick one… its average in thickness maybe even bordering on skinny.

  • Daniel

    Sarah I am 5’9” and over 8”. I can assure you that you can not cope with my staying power !! wanna try?

  • Will

    Well I am 6′ and my cock is about 6.5″ and nicely thick so I think Sarah may actually know what shes talking about. No idea what a bicycle punk is though.

  • Glenn

    I’m 6′ pretty fat and I have a 5″ dick that has never been inside a woman in 55 years. I hate my dick and what it has done to my life. Fuck it.

  • Ed

    You know what. This 5’4 guy averages between 6 and 8 inches, base to tip. If you’re curious, it goes by way of scale. If the girl is ugly she’ll barely get 6 inches and change but it will be the best 30 seconds of her life. If the girl is ugly but good in bed she might get 7 out of me. If the girl is hot but terrible in bed, she’ll get 6.5. If a girl is hot and good in bed, she just might get the full 8 depending on how interested I am in her, how much herbs I’ve smoked and how many beers I’ve drunk. I haven’t had a bad report card yet LOL.

    I applaud you for trying but this stuff is just too comical to find anything in it worthy of substance. To my best knowledge, girls with sexual theories based on trivial, unscientific BS are the worst. In life and in the bedroom. You are so focused on putting numbers together that you probably forgot how to fuck really. You need to start thinking with the head on top of your shoulders and not the little button between your legs. Good luck.

  • H

    What a CRAPP !!!!!!!

  • DarrenDangler1

    I’m A 5’5″ Cam Guy And my dicks bigger then Most men at any height 8 inches and a little more then that sometimes. I cant even stand and jerk off most of the time and stay completely hard cuz my cock gets to big. about half hard im 7 and my cock has shriveled pretty small. I just think you have a thing for taller men or its closer to your face so it seems bigger. i mean its give or take around the 8 depends how turned on i am. But darrendangler1 if you wanna check some vids go buy some. I think some women want to think most men that are taller have bigger dicks then they do.

  • DarrenDangler1

    I actually get bigger live some days so there you go! Bull shiz solved.

  • Dulce

    Oh, my dear. You have sooo nailed it. Not only did you described my beloved partner(6’4″) of 30 years (RIP), and my current posslq (5’8″), but in remembering my cheerful, misspent youth (let’s just say I’m way into double didgets, partners & age), I believe you have nailed it. Yes. Yes indeed. Good job.

    • Sarah Moeding

      I am sorry you lost your parter. But glad you’ve found another! Thank you for your comment. :)

  • coccy

    Whoa whoa whoa hold up. Penis size have been found to have a correlation to anything. I’m 5 10 skinny and my dick measures 8.5 inches. My dad is 5 6 and his is the same size. I have a friend who’s 6’5 and his is way smaller than mine. Simple truth is that you never know what YOU’RE going to get.

  • Gary

    Im 6’2″ and 9 inch dicky, reasonably thick. I used to live with 2 girls, they loved what I gave them, as I loved them. Didnt get any complaints, except they argued for attention. I was 7.5 inches 2 years ago, did excercises that I worked out no pills. Better to have someone to love, than love to have someone.

  • dillies

    Based on pics of you found via Google, taking in to account your height and weight and facial structure, your pussy lips clearly hang low and lazy. Makes sense right?

    • Sarah Moeding

      I am sorry, you do not seem to have the accurate instincts about this that I do. Not everyone can be a sexy scientist!

  • Mea

    This is almost as disgusting and repulsive as it is unfounded. No one’s fault but your own that you can’t find a good loving man that satisfies you.

    • Sarah Moeding

      At what point in this piece was it indicated that I cannot find a man to satisfy me? I believe I wrote a piece about many men who have satisfied me, in different and wonderful ways.

  • damanmoney

    I find it funny that 11% or less of the world has an 8in dick or bigger and there are so many on this site posting they have 8or bigger. It really confuses women when so many men snap close up shots and use th cm side or the ruler. I bet most of u made ur dick look big to women and or had a woman or 2 simply tell u it was bigger then it was. Ive had 2 women that thpught there previous boyfriends had hourse cocks and saw mine and couldnt craped there self thinking 8 was 9 or 10. Be true to ur self idiots remember you only made it look big on pics and cam its not actually big in real life

  • Jeremy

    So, only guys who are 5’10″-6’1″ have big dicks and fuck like pornstars? Totally inaccurate. I’m 5’8″ with a nice fat 8 incher. Can the author try and guess my body type?

    • Jeremy

      Also, to say that guys with bigger ones don’t like foreplay. I mean c’mon. Most definitely enjoy going down on women. Just as long as it isn’t hairy and smelly down there

    • Sarah Moeding

      Doesn’t work that way.

      And no, I didn’t say that men with big dicks don’t like foreplay. I said that men with smaller dicks tend to have cultivated better skills with foreplay because they don’t have a giant sausage to safely do all the work for them.

  • A Guy

    Pft. And people say that women are objectified. Anyway, aside from that, I honestly find this list to be poorly made and pretty offensive. And the fact that you think 5.5 inches is long just shows how little you really know. My dick has been 8 inches long since I was 17, and most of my peers have told me somewhere around the same about their own penises. I’m skinny and 5’10″, and I’m definitely not just good for one night stands. I’m faithful, not some man-slut. This whole article seems to be based on too small a number of experiences that weren’t any good at all, and judging by that, it seems likely that the problem is that YOU are no good in bed. If you have so many bad things to say about all different kinds of men, it’s probably just you.

    • Sarah Moeding

      Message

    • Sarah Moeding

      Each time I come to read new comments on this piece, I am dumbfounded by why folks interpret it as being negative. It seems pretty balanced to me. I have had a lot of terrific sex, and take great pleasure in giving and receiving pleasure. A truth no partner of mine would ever disagree with.

  • Dude

    Is this woman a real writer or just a slut? This is the dumbest article I’ve ever read. You can’t tell how big a guys dick is just by going of height. There’s plenty of tall guys with little dicks and plenty of little guys with big dicks out there. Who uses the word fuckability anyway, how old are you 17?

    • Sarah Moeding

      I am in fact a real person, and I am curious as to what your purpose is in asking if I might be a slut? Is a slut a woman who enjoys sex, who takes pleasure in having new sexual partners and is not the least bit ashamed of that fact because she shouldn’t be in any way, shape or form? I am decidedly all of that, but I am not a slut.

      And yes, I can definitely gauge the size of a man’s dick by looking at him. Many women can. Or men, for that matter. Just as you can look at a woman and tell whether her tits and ass are saggy or merely being held up by her bra and pants. Or that the man wearing a hat is hiding baldness. There are markers, and there are instincts, and the combination of these things leads to very accurately gauging what a fellow has to offer in the dick region.

  • Ron Not-Jeremy

    Yeah, your examination of guy’s cocks that you’ve been with/had is limited, and therefore so is your opinion.
    I am 6 feet even, on the nose, 210 pounds, and sport a 8.75×6″ uncut dong.

    When I worked out I saw other men’s bodies/cocks which impressed me, soft and hangin’ large.

    I really believe that us larger guys are more prevalent in the population than you imagine, with 8 inches being the average length of American dicks.

  • Ron Not-Jeremy

    Yeah, your examination of guy’s cocks that you’ve been with/had is limited, and therefore so is your opinion.
    I am 6 feet even, on the nose, 210 pounds, and sport a 8.75×6″ uncut dong.

    When I worked out I saw other men’s bodies/cocks which impressed me, soft and hangin’ large.

    I really believe that us larger guys are more prevalent in the population than you imagine,
    with 8 inches being the average length of American dicks.

  • Danika Madrid

    im dating a guy. he is 6″2 skinny as hell. He has treated all his exes badly, and im beginning to see him start this pattern with me. Im about to cal lit quits. And yes. his dick is long and SKINNY lol

  • Alcet

    Umm.. why is anyone taking this stupid shit seriously? She assess a man’s personality and dick size by his height? Hello? Retarded much?

    Typical female logic ‘my very limited experience equals complete proof of all there is!!’, what a dyke.

    Google her name, you’re reading the words of a woman that looks like a 3(maybe 4 on a good day), you know the type we fuck just to bust a nut. Bitch, no wonder a lot of men treat you like dirt, judging by your looks and your condescending writing tone, you haven’t deserved any better.

    What a disgusting cunt, both physically and personality wise.

    Ok bye ^^

    • Sarah Moeding

      Oh, sugar. Someone didn’t raise you right.

  • mister anderson

    this article has become quite referenced in google so people are pissed because of it’s inaccuracy and it’s power of perpetrating stereotypes..

    i am 5’7″ and i am not thick boned but rather muscular with a hip to waist ration of 0.5 and also pretty muscular i weigh 180lbs and i am not fat.. so go figure how is this even possible since the number don’t seem to correlate but it is what it is..
    and to add the little info that made me comment on this, is that my penis is 6.2″ in length and 6.5″ in circumference (6.8″ at the base it’s pretty much at an end of girth spectrum) so you can guess how amusing i find the look on women’s face when i actually grow my junk next to her thigh or her face (i am a grower an wood rock erection).. and especially with taller women :)

    so it doesn’t really bother me what women do estimate my junk size before… since after that is just so delicious a moment it is for me to know how i can make those especially little harder to get taller women to become submissive in bed..so no wonder.. that taller women do think that they hold sexual power over short men but that is just a temporary winner expression in their face that i find very amusing to wipe clean after i got in her and made her rejoice or even being in pain.. since with my girth i do have the power to maker her either very ecstatic or in pain.. short guy VS taller girl: winner short guy ! :)
    so this was just a rant over you discriminatory article to shorter people..

    anyway just to add my opinion over taller women: they may seem hot or kind of sexy and elegant but in bed they are clumsy very slow and rigid.. all female pornstar are petite and sexy actresses are not tall so i wonder where this “tall women winner attitude” comes from ? surely from the fact that they got to say “no” more often to men since they are quite short on tall guys interested in them..
    shorter men find you an exotic choice to fuck, not sexy or adorable.. so keep that in mind ;)

  • Craig

    An experienced girl. I like it.

    • Sarah Moeding

      Thanks! I like it too.

  • Mr. BBC

    Idk about anyone else but this is super false to me. I’m a black guy thats 5,9 and skinny but my cock is 10inches hard and decently thick…. I guess everyone is different?

  • Jimbo

    I love this article (and the responses). Sarah you are so accurate! I too have a knack for accurately guessing duck size as a gay man. It’s a shame that “short man syndrome” really does affect people for life. Get over it short guys – you are short no need to get aggressive! Tall men have the biggest and that’s always been the case – they also have the biggest hearts, lungs, etc it’s biology

    • Sarah Moeding

      Thanks for the comment! I like men of many heights, shapes and sizes. What many readers of this article keep missing is that this is based solely on my experiences and specifically, who I am attracted to. I wrote about those people. Not the thousands of other builds and shapes of men out there that I am not drawn to.

      Being reactionary never got anyone any place good.

  • Katt

    This is horribly false in my experience. I’ve had skinny guys with fat dicks and skinny guys with skinny dicks, of the same height. And fat guys with fat and thin as well. Funnest thing is when they are a grower, not a show-er. One guy surprised the hell out of me as he was horrendously skinny and wore skinny jeans, you couldn’t see anything, yet at go time it was huge, haha.

  • stephen

    The single worst post ever.
    This woman has not got a clue. Scientific statistics show relationship between height and penis size.

    Unless by penis she means feet.

  • SandraDee

    I love penis.

  • Margaret

    Every guy posting here has an 7 or 8 inch cock, buff and thick as a Coke can….you guys are so full of crap lol.

  • Margaret

    I’ve actually found that the more a guy is obsessed or needs to brag about having a large penis, the less likely it’s even true.

    The guys I’ve known that where above average, felt secure enough that they didn’t feel the need to exaggerate.

    It’s like a bunch of women posting that they above average perfectly shaped breasts.

  • Margaret

    Sorry I meant 8 or 9 inches above, 7 is above average I think.

    The length is more asthetics anyway, it the girth or how it’s used if anything that makes the difference.

    I might not have had as much sex as the author, but penis size is kind of a crapshoot, unless the body type is short and fat or long and skinny…and even then it’s not alway as expected.

  • matt

    I say dick size doesn’t matter. If someone really cares that much about how big your dick is then they aren’t worth the time. All my friends have 7 inchers are 6’2 skinny and can fuck the shit out of their girls but i’m not jealous cause being jealous solves nothing. I’m 19, 5’9, 180 pounds, a bit chubby with an average 5 incher. Still a virgin by the way and bisexual. Just waiting for the right person :)

  • steve

    Well Sarah i am 5’11 8 inch 2 thick, i dont care what doug said you are hot and i would be very glad to have fucked out your brains anytime, drop me a line x

  • Italian Canadian

    I’m 5’9″, and your description (first paragraph only) of the 5’7″-5’9″ category is so accurate it scares me… The only discrepancy would have to be that I’m closer to 7″ in length than 6″, but maybe that’s just luck. Almost all of the girls I’ve been with have complimented me on my oral skills, and when it comes to sex I’ve definitely been able to deliver multiple orgasms to my partners in most encounters.

    Maybe I should show my girlfriend this article so that she realizes how much of a catch I am…lol

  • Andrew

    I am 6’7 and I have a 11 1/2″ penis that is kind of thin compared with my length..only 5 1/2″ thick…However, every girl I’ve been with said that I was hurting them and we had to stop…..The best thing I could imagine would be an average penis in between 5 1/2″ and 7″…To be honest being so big makes it extremely difficult to be able to please a girl during intercourse…I won’t deny that they are always extremely excited when they see it, but then they tell me to stop after about 2 minutes…

  • Keith

    Sarah, I hope your intention in writing this piece was to provide entertainment — in which case, for me, it was successful. I laughed like a drain. I laughed, of course, because it is all so preposterous.

    I fear, however, that many people will take it seriously, which may either a) reinforce their own ill-informed prejudices, or b) make them hop up and down with rage at your generalisations and fire off comments disputing your height/build/penis size assertions using their own claimed dimensions as evidence. I think pretty much all of the comments above prove my point.

    But I enjoyed the post for what it was (or what I took it to be). :-)