The ten most played-out Rapture-themed tweets
10. Pop culture references. “If this Rapture also stars David Duchovny, I’ll die happy.”
9. Speculating about the activities of disappointed believers. “There’s gonna be a lot more people at Liquor Lyle’s than at church tomorrow.”
8. Straightforward goodbye. “I’m outta here, suckas! Enjoy the brimstone rain!”
7. Can I have your stuff? “If the Rapture happens, can I have your Adderall and your Volcano Choir vinyl?”
6. Macho Man Randy Savage references. “Whether or not the Rapture happens will depend on who wins the steel-cage match between Jesus and Macho Man.”
5. Announcing what you’re doing pre-Rapture. “Well, guess I’d better finish this pint of Rocky Road in one sitting. Who am I kidding, I was going to do that anyway.”
4. Asking for clarification. “Can the west coast watch the Rapture happen first on the east coast, like the New Year’s ball dropping?”
3. Pretending it already happened. “Thank you, God, for getting my evangelical co-worker out of my hair. Now I can actually get some work done today.”
2. Advertising. “We’re having a pre-looting sale! Everything 15% off!”
1. Exasperated tweets about all the Rapture tweets. “Can you all please go back to complaining about traffic?”