Lady Gaga’s Penis Shoes: When should you wear them?

Lady Gaga recently debuted these weinery heels on American Idol. Here’s when you should wear them.

To a My Penis Got Cut Off convention

Lorena Bobbit’s funeral

To work as a trauma counselor

To your womyn’s support group

To a hot coal walk-off

Through grass, to prepare it for fertilization

To The Tangential HQ on Wear A Dildo To Work Day

To your Women and Gender Studies Class

While walking into a vagina

While stepping on a vagina

While Shooting a Man In the Penis

-Jason Zabel, Katie Sisneros, Becky Lang