-Wondering why their Blackberrys aren’t buzzing off their “holsters”

-Losing their “oxford shirts”

-Taking a purple pill for their “moribund metabolism”

-Being stuck in a “personal Detroit of the soul”

-Having poignantly forgiving sons

-Beginning a slow, shameful crawl to social security

-Feeling sad in their six-bedroom homes

-Having strengths in “transformational change management” (and lake-blue eyes!)

-Feeding documents into “e-discovery” programs

-Rebranding themselves as consultants

-Training again with their old Olympic coaches

-Being sad they won’t live up to the expectations of SuperYacht World

– “Dining on Chateaubriand while the rest of us are spit-roasting rats over trash-can fires.”

– Not feeling financially secure until they have $1 billion in the bank

– Loving the Lord

– Not knowing the depth of yearning in their words

– Having the quantity but not the quality

– Getting the hang of hitting the jackpot

– Being wary of gold diggers

– Structuring their children’s inheritance to arrive in small packets

– Getting their kids to do chores despite having almost full-time gardeners

– Putting together “the resume of a dabbler”

– “Staring into the abyss a bit more starkly than the rest of us”

– Calling for “ethnic studies to promote racial pride”

– Taking classes in “whiteness studies”

– “Sitting willingly in the back of the bus”

– “Living in constant fear of falling”

– Never feeling secure in their majority status

– Standing up to “advance the interests of the dispossessed majority”

– Worrying that demographic changes will turn the country into a “Third-World flop-house”

– Embracing girly jobs and dirty diapers

– Reclaiming maleness “as a force”

– Wearing hunting garb, buying designer axes

Taken from: Dead Suit Walking, Secret Fears of the Super-Rich, Are Whites Racially Oppressed?, Men’s Lib

–Becky Lang