Yay, finally waist-whittlers get to participate in a pop-mocracy! Darn it if I’m gonna miss out.

I spent a great majority of my day yesterday sipping slowly at a Diet Mtn. Dew Voltage, swishing it in my glass and wafting the flavors into my nose. The raspberry … the citrus …

Here’s what it tasted like:

-A swimming pool full of children, where the water is made out of melted Peeps
-A Katie Perry statue made out of corn syrup
-Licking the inside of a Splenda packet
-An explosion of the factory where Fun Dip sticks are made

Today I am tasting Diet Mtn. Dew Supernova. Here’s what it tastes like:
-Cough syrup mixed with Kool-Aid
-A diabetic kid’s melted popsicle
-Really weak strawberry vodka
-Licking the inside of a Splenda packet

My ultimate verdict: Voltage
They both don’t taste like anything except bright colors and fake sugar, so you might as well get the one with slightly less tacky packaging.

Rally with us in this Diet Democracy! Or uh, just don’t drink these. You’ll get made fun of at work. Seriously.

–Becky Lang also got made fun of at work for drinking Super America coffee on a regular basis