Dear Sarah-

Hope all is well with you. These jeans have been through a lot on my trip to Italy. I was wearing them on an innocent night out when I stopped at a fountain and made a wish. I wished for love! Next thing I know, I’m sipping wine with an exotic man. He was a German actor who professionally plays Jesus in Passion plays, and boy was he sexy. We kissed all night – he was so into it, he even had a little accident. It seemed like true love. Unfortunately, he happens to be part of a lineage of Passion reenactors that has been directly in competition with my own family’s lineage of Passion reenactors, and my grandma threatened to stop taking her diabetes meds in protest if I kept seeing him. What do I do?

Hope you are well and that you managed to seduce that counselor at DJ camp. Tell me everything.

xoxoxo

–Becky Lang

P.S. NEVER WASH THE PANTS OR WE LOSE OUR LUCK!

pants via The Hairpin, via Copy Ranter