What aging rockers are really saying with the names of their tours
An evening with: “You’ll be sitting down.”
A special evening with: “You’ll be sitting down, and so will I.”
A very special evening with: “You’ll be sitting down, and so will I, and I’ll also be taking a short nap halfway through the show.”
And friends: “I’d like to charge full ticket price, but without having to play a full set.”
Reunion Tour: “We’re broke.”
Together for the very first time: “It’s a couple of decades now since we’ve slept with each other’s ex-wives.”
Greatest Hits Tour: “You don’t need to worry that I’ll play any songs I’ve written since 1982.”
Acoustic Tour: “I’m getting the maximum mileage out of my greatest hits by playing them with an acoustic guitar instead of an electric guitar, and charging you to hear them again.”
“Freedom”/ “Escape” Tour: “I’ll be playing a lot of boring, but up-tempo, new songs.”
Farewell Tour: “I’ll be back after my next divorce.”