A Guide to Fucking Hipster Girls

So you’re are a square or a bro and you wanna fuck those arty girls, but realize that you’re too mainstream to hit that shit? Don’t fret, we got you covered with 8 easy steps to getting that alt chick into your bed. 1. Have a project going on. You know that cousin who plays the ukulele in that psychill band, LunarTeat? Let them play a show in your garage and promote the hell out of it using words like “avant-garde,” “dissonance” and “nuanced.” Hang some tampons on the wall and you’ve got a ravewave scene that will help make sure you smush before the second set. 2. Have loot. Girls are girls. No matter how many times they claim to reject materialism, those drinks aren’t going to pay for themselves. Don’t flaunt your money, but always have enough cash so you have an … Continue reading A Guide to Fucking Hipster Girls