People of America, own your ugly moments. Look drunk on Facebook. WE’LL hire you. My fellow Tangenitalia have been posting their ugliest photos on Facebook, so I too must follow (hideous) suit. Turns out many of my hard-on-the-eyes moments have also involved alcohol. Who knew?

June 7, 2007

I’ve been saving this photo of myself for something like this. This is the only photo I’ve ever untagged on Facebook. The caption says, “HAHAHAHA Oh man that was funny…becky peeing, nothing new.” We were getting ready to go to a “party” for “writers,” which we assumed would have more likeminded people who were obnoxiously drunk. Not the case. We came in and slobberingly talked about Important Writer (can’t remember who) before two of my friends passed out, face down, in the lawn. DIGNITY.

October, 2010

It took me a long time to remember what I did this halloween. It all came back when I realized I was a treasure troll.

August, 2010, Gay Pride parade

I get ugly around free food.

4th of July, 2009

I swear I didn’t pee myself. I went on that night to order a pancake at Uptown Diner, make “food art” out of it, tip way too much because it was “such a nice waitress!” (It was a waiter) and not remember any of it. Yay America.

June 2009, Amy Gee’s “Hat Party”

I look just like a representative of my high school here – Hoesville High. (Uh, Roseville.) I got ridiculed at my old job regularly for this one.

February 2009

This gave people nightmares.

September 2008

Why god? Why friend with camera?

September, 2008

This picture captures my SOUL.

Don’t worry, I’ve found Jeebus.

October, 2006

Every time I’ve been photographed with a bulldog, it has looked prettier than me.

-If Becky Lang had pictures from her childhood on hand, this list could be 100 pictures long. Oh brace face, monkey hair and Cheetos belly.