BITCH I’m your browser
Fuckin’ Chrome to the maxx
Figurin’ shit out like motherfuckin’ Doogie Howser
Don’t bookmark your Tumblr, you got a toolbar up top!
Drag and drop, motherfuckers
Drag and drop, motherfuckers
No, not Google! Don’t toolbar that shit!
Your address bar doubles as a motherfuckin’ search engine!
Saturatin’ your brain like a champagne stain!

Chrome, Chrome Chrome Chrome, Chrome Chrome Chrome
If you say you use incognito for gift shopping
You’re a lyin’ motherfucker with his dick in his hand
Chrome, Chrome Chrome Chrome, Chrome Chrome Chrome
If you need a theme, I just ask you please
Don’t use Gossip Girl or Mariah Carey

Cuz that shit ain’t tight!
Up at night, by computer light
Toggling screens like it ain’t no thing
Alt+tab, Alt+tab, ‘til your fingers they bleed
You don’t need no waves like they H2O
Just waves in tubes that flow like snow
From your ISP to your laptop PC
Oh, you use a Mac?
Then download Safari, motherfucker
Cuz Chrome’s Windows orthodox
Like the Church of Rome

Chrome, Chrome Chrome Chrome, Chrome Chrome Chrome
So you’ve got IE7? Uninstall that shit!
Don’t know how? Control panel! Then Uninstall a program!
Chrome, Chrome Chrome Chrome, Chrome Chrome Chrome
Automatic uninstall, unless your motherfuckin’ Bill Gates
Fuckin’ custom uninstalls, how do they work?

If it asks if you’re sure, you say
BITCH OF COURSE I’M SURE!
Oh, you use a Mac?
Well then ask the magical fuckin’ Apple Fairy
To take IE7 away on a magic fuckin’ carpet, then.
How the fuck should I know?
Chrome at home with a gnome in the motherfuckin’ Megadome.

–Katie Sisneros tried Google image searching for “hardcore computer” for this post and did not like what she found.